


A Little Too Much

by innlevelse



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Emotional Roller Coaster, Los Angeles, M/M, Manipulation, Nomin if you squint, Serial Killer, Underage Drinking, Violence, What Have I Done, it’s just a bromance tbh, kind of, real life hits jaemin like a brick, the angst is so heavy but i swear it’ll be good, this is honestly a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-07 00:29:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15897219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innlevelse/pseuds/innlevelse
Summary: baby, i’m a sociopath,sweet serial killer,on the warpath,cause i love you,just a little too much。Na Jaemin lives in the ghetto. You should expect to see some weird shit, right? Well, one thing Jaemin definitely didn’t expect was for some boy he met in a dark alleyway to take his heart away.





	1. 01 / wish i may, wish i might

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!  
> Firstly, I’d like to say that this story is inspired by this edit made by Apricot: https://youtu.be/XIDNTSpnsFc  
> She was nice to enough to let me write a fan-fiction out of that so thank you!!! Please check out the edit, everyone! It’s so good.  
> Also, this is my first time writing a fan-fic on AO3 so let’s see how this works, haha.
> 
> I’d also like for you guys to note that this story is set in LA, California and it’s neighborhoods. I have visited the city but haven’t really explored the neighborhoods mentioned in this story (mostly because they’re dangerous neighborhoods so I don’t go near them haha) so I’m apoligizing beforehand if any of the information or descriptions of these locations are a bit inaccurate. 
> 
> Anways, just know that this story is an emotional rollercoaster and DO NOT read if you are uncomfortable with violence and graphic descriptions. 
> 
> Enjoy <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
> Firstly, I’d like to say that this story is inspired by this edit made by Apricot: https://youtu.be/XIDNTSpnsFc  
> She was nice to enough to let me write a fan-fiction out of that so thank you!!! Please check out the edit, everyone! It’s so good.  
> Also, this is my first time writing a fan-fic on AO3 so let’s see how this works, haha.
> 
> I’d also like for you guys to note that this story is set in LA, California and it’s neighborhoods. I have visited the city but haven’t really explored the neighborhoods mentioned in this story (mostly because they’re dangerous neighborhoods so I don’t go near them haha) so I’m apoligizing beforehand if any of the information or descriptions of these locations are a bit inaccurate. 
> 
> Anways, just know that this story is an emotional rollercoaster and DO NOT read if you are uncomfortable with violence and graphic descriptions.
> 
> Enjoy <3

If you took one look at Jaemin Na, you wouldn’t expect him to live in a neighborhood full of gangs and poverty. You’d take one look at his mega-watt smile and pretty face and assume he lived somewhere in West Los Angeles.

That isn’t the case, though.

Instead, Jaemin Na lives in Boyle Heights — not the roughest neighborhood but certainly not the greatest place. He goes to a shitty, cramped high school with a bunch of washed out kids and tired teachers who really have no will to teach. He’s a minority in this neighborhood; Asian. To the students, he’s considered weak and a pussy, and considering that he’s on the dance team that mostly consist of girls, students either think he’s a total twink or really just trying to get it on with his team members.

Jaemin doesn’t pay it much mind, though. Even if he doesn’t understand why his parents insist to make ends meet and struggle to pay for a much too small house for him and his two other siblings in a quite dangerous neighborhood, he doesn’t question it. He tries his best to enjoy each day as much as he can, even if his circumstances aren’t the best.

You could say that Jaemin is pure at heart. Maybe a little naïve, even.

That’s why as Jaemin was walking home from school and it began pouring down hot rain, he didn’t yell at the sky or make a run for it. Instead, he closed his eyes and basked in the fresh smell of earth. He imagined that the plants were sighing in relief, and that the dead trees were magically starting to grow their pretty green leaves again. He imagined that the wild animals who hung around here were probably praising God for giving them the water that they were craving.

“You should appreciate what the world gives you,” Jaemin said aloud, albeit quiet, but aloud.

He probably looked like a complete idiot just standing there, but he didn’t care. This was Southern California we’re talking about here. When was the last time they got rain? The rain shower was short, probably only lasted about fifteen minutes and even though it left Jaemin soaking and shivering (despite the rain being unfortunately hot), he was still happy.

The boy continued his path home and was about to go past an alleyway that he always passed by, until he heard what he believed to be sniffling.

Althroughout his high school years, he’s always passed this alleyway. Sure, he knew that some sketchy shit was most likely happening in the dark corners of it, but never had he actually heard noise coming from it.

It wasn’t a good idea, Jaemin knew that, but he couldn’t help but look into the alley and gasped when he saw a silhouette hunched over. The boy fast-walked as quietly as he could to the shadow and pulled out his phone to use the flashlight. He shined it on the figure only to realize that it was a boy, and that the sniffling was coming from him. The unknown stranger hadn’t looked up yet, even though there was a light on him. It was as if he was stuck in his own mind, his own world.

Jaemin huffed before shining his flashlight to other spots in the alley to see if there was anybody else, and had to hold himself back from vomiting when he saw a fluffy Siamese cat. It’s stomach was sliced, and dried blood was stuck to its fur. Jaemin knew that there was probably more damage done to the poor thing, but couldn’t bear to look any longer.

Turning back, Jaemin crouched down in front of the crying figure.

“Excuse me?”

The stranger’s head flew up, and his eyes were wide and frightened. After noticing that Jaemin was right in front of him, he stood up with wobbly legs and tried to press himself further into the wall. “Get . . . Get the fuck outta here!” He yelled, and pointed to the exit of the alley and though his voice was rough, Jaemin could still hear the shakiness to it.

Jaemin shook his head and stood up. “Are you okay?”

“Am I okay?” The stranger laughed, almost sarcastically. He looked down at his shaking hands where blood stained them. When he noticed that Jaemin was looking at them too, he shoved them in his face, as if trying to make Jaemin flinch. When his attempt was deemed unsuccessful, he huffed and put his hands behind his back. “What’s it to you?”

“I can help you,” Jaemin started. When he saw that the stranger furrowed his brows in confusion, he considered that his cue to continue. “Clean you up, you know? My house is only ten minutes away. I won’t tell anyone what you,” Jaemin glanced at the dead cat and winces. “did.”

The stranger shook his head. “I didn’t do that.”

“It’s okay if you did.”

It really wasn’t okay. Jaemin has watched the show Criminal Minds before, and he knows that doesn’t deem him as some expert on criminals, but he knows what purposefully killing animals could lead too.

“No . . . No! I didn’t kill it!”

Jaemin tapped his foot against the tattered asphalt and crossed his arms. “Then who did?”

The stranger took his bottom lip between his teeth. “It was like that when I came in here.”

 _Who’s blood is that then? Why were you crying?_  He wanted to ask but decided to keep his mouth shut. Instead, he grabbed the stranger’s hand who flinched but allowed him to drag the other out of the alley, for some reason. 

As they entered the sunlight, Jaemin got to get a better look at the boy. He was lanky, taller than Jaemin. His hair was blonde and damaged, most likely from dying it too often. He seemed to be wearing high branded clothes, but they were dirty and bloodied. His eyes were small and had a cute face — he had to be younger than Jaemin. 

 _Damn, younger and taller than me. What a punch to the ego._ Jaemin thought. 

The two finally arrived to Jaemin’s home. The house was small, probably only a thousand square feet but Jaemin’s mother worked hard to make it have a presentable front yard and she always kept the inside cozy and smelling good, so Jaemin hadn’t any complaints. 

As they walked inside, Jaemin noticed a batch of cookies sitting on the dining table and smiled before going over to it. Beside it was a napkin with his mother’s handwriting. 

_Nana, hope you had a lovely day! Dad is out of town for two weeks, he’ll be working in Nevada so give him a call before the day ends. I’ll be working a few extra hours today as well, so I won’t be home until late. Save some cookies for your brother and sister and don’t forget to pick them up from school today! Love you_

_\- Momma xx_

Jaemin hummed. His father is a construction worker and his mother works as a waitress at some high-end restaurant. The boy honestly doesn’t know how they afford to live where they live. His parents always stress over bills and he’s wondered countless of times as to why they don’t just move to a cheaper area, but he figures that there must be something tying them down here. 

The boy also has two siblings, elementary school age. They luckily start school later than him (Jaemin rolls his eyes. Lucky kids. They better enjoy their freedom before they get to high school) but get out later than him as well, so when his parents are working late, he’s in charge of them. 

After grabbing two cookies, Jaemin turned around only to yelp in surprise when he realises that the stranger was standing right behind him. 

He forgot that he even brought someone home with him. 

“Oh, right!” Jaemin exclaimed before shoving one cookie in his mouth and handing the other one to the stranger. He grabbed the other’s wrist and led him to the cramped bathroom. “Sit on the counter.” He ordered and kneeled down to open the cabinets underneath the sink and grabbed the first aid kit. 

After pulling out all the supplies he would need, he simply stared at the bruised up boy before coughing, as if that would make the awkward silence go away.

“So,” He started, trying to keep eye contact but ended up looking at the floor anyways. “My name’s Jaemin Na. Wanna tell me yours?”

It was silent for a couple of seconds, and Jaemin was internally cringing until finally, the stranger spoke.

“Jisung Park.”

Jaemin blinked in surprise and looked up. He furrowed his eyebrows and repeated, “Jisung Park?”

“That’s my name.”

It sounded so familiar. Jaemin has to furrow his eyebrows and think.  _Haven’t I heard this name before? Think._

”Ah!” Jaemin yelled but quickly apologized when the other flinched. “Didn’t you go to Roosevelt High School?” He asked. He was so sure that he was right. If he remembers correctly, Jisung was a freshman when he was a sophomore and boy was Jisung the talk of the school. There were rumors that he was one of the richest kids there - which if it was true, would explain the branded clothes - and was apparently the best at dancing. 

Jaemin mentally scoffed.  _So he gets praised for dancing but when I do it, I get called gay?_

Jisung rubbed the back of his neck. “Used to.” When Jaemin raises a questioning brow, he continues. “I dropped out in the beginning of this year.” 

“Why?” 

“None of your business.” Jisung answered coldly. 

Jaemin sighed. There it is, that invisible wall. Well, he can’t really blame him. They barely know each other and Jaemin did catch him in a rather embarrassing situation (could you call it that?). He cant expect him to open up too much. 

It took a little bit more than an hour to clean Jisung up, and Jaemin had been nice enough to lend the younger his shirt and a pair of sweats. When Jaemin walked the other out of his house and Jisung had awkwardly said, “Thanks, I guess,” it was about time for him to pick up his siblings. 

On the walk to the elementary school his siblings attended, Jaemin smiled and called probably the only contact in his phone other than his family. 

“You won’t believe what just happened, Jeno.”


	2. 02 / find my one true love tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to a new chapter! 
> 
> i’m sorry it took so long. i actually had this chapter finished a couple days ago but, unfortunately, half of the chapter didn’t save so i had to re-write it. :/ 
> 
> hope you enjoy though! i’ll try to get the next chapter out soon <3

Jaemin’s hair was matted against his forehead as he panted, staring at his reflection intensely. It wasn’t until the dance team’s leader, Lana, clapped her hands and announced that they were done for the day, did Jaemin plop down onto the cold floors and close his eyes in relief.

They had been practicing for three whole hours, of course he’d be tired. He doesn’t blame their dance leader for making them train so intensely, though.

They have four big performances coming up this month, and Lana has been stressing ever since that was announced. She is in charge of coming up with their choreographies (not completely on her own, of course) and teaching it to them, so she truly does have a lot of weight on her shoulders. Jaemin has trust in her. She’s never failed to teach them and always assured them that they’ll have an amazing performance.

And true to her word, they always do perform well.

Jaemin smiles at the thought before opening his eyes and was greeted with another one of his team members, Genevieve, who giggled and ran her hands through his sweaty hair, sweeping it off of his forehead and Jaemin nearly purred in content.

Despite the rest of the school making fun of him for being on the dance team, the girls on the team were always fond of him and made sure to let him know that he was needed.

Jaemin really appreciated it. He needed to reassurance sometimes.

The said boy sits up and pulls Genevieve into a quick hug. Before they part, she whispers, “You did really good today.” For a response, Jaemin rubs her back soothingly and then proceeds to stand up. He pats off the imaginary dust off his sweatpants and walks over to his phone that’s resting near his sports bag and picks it up. It’s filled with Twitter and Instagram notifications, most of them just saying that a certain celebrity posted but Jaemin pays no mind to those. Instead, he clicks onto his messages and smiles when he sees the one he was looking for.

_No Jam - Hurry up. I’m outside._

Jaemin is quick to throw his bag over his shoulder and rush outside where his best friend, Jeno Lee, is waiting outside in his car. The boy runs over to the vehicle and hops into the passenger seat and throws the rest of his belongings into the backseat. 

“Hey,” he greets. 

Jeno glances at him before starting up the engine and backing out of the parking space. “How was practice?” 

The other groans dramatically. “Exhausting. I could really use some coffee.” 

Jaemin winks, and Jeno rolls his eyes. 

 

~

 

They ended up going to Starbucks — typical, I know. They’re currently sitting in one of the booths by a window, and Jeno is ranting about the new player on his soccer team and  _“how much of a complete asshole”_ he is. 

Jaemin was in the middle of zoning out and trying to act like he was listening to his best friend before he saw a flash of blonde hair, and gasped. 

“What?” Jeno suddenly asks. “Were you even listening to me?” He sounds exasperated. 

Ignoring him, Jaemin stares at the figure with oddly familiar blonde hair. He can only see his back, but he swears those sweatpants that the stranger is wearing oddly look like his own. He waits until the boy orders and turns around, and gasps once more once he sees the face. 

“Jisung Park!” Jaemin yells, his wide smile appearing.

”I’m so lost,” Jeno mumbles, mostly to himself, the same time that Jisung whips his head around in surprise. The poor boy looked so shaken, his eyes wide and lips trembling. Jeno frowned. “Dumbass. You scared the boy.” 

His comments go ignored, though because soon Jaemin is frantically making gestures for Jisung to walk over to their table, and the younger boy looks pretty much everywhere in the store as if saying, “ _Me?_ ” Once he realizes that Jaemin most likely isn’t going to stop acting like a complete maniac, he makes his way over to the table and hesitantly sits down. 

“Hi?” 

Jaemin offers his mega-watt smile that quickly turns into a smirk. “Fancy seeing you here,” He glances down at Jisung’s bottoms. “Are those my sweats?” 

Jeno furrows his eyebrows in disbelief. “Am I missing something here?”

You see, despite Jaemin having called Jeno the other night when he first met Jisung, he never actually got around to telling him what happened. At first, it was because Jaemin got distracted by all the people walking their dogs and just  _had_ to pet them. Then, Jeno started talking about some new video game he got and by the time he finished with his rant (Jeno rants quite frequently), the younger was already at his siblings school and had to hang up. 

So to say that Jeno’s lost is an understatement. 

Jisung brings a hand to the back of his neck, and says, “Uh, yeah. I meant to give them back.” 

“It’s okay if you want to keep them! I have, like, two other pairs in the same colors for some reason and—“ 

It’s Jeno who interrupts his best friend by abruptly standing up from the table. He couldn’t take being left in the dark for any longer. “Well,” He stretches his arms far out. “It was nice meeting you, kid. But Jaemin and I have places to be.” 

Before Jaemin has any time to protest, Jeno grips him tightly by the shoulder and leads him out of the establishment. They walk in silence for a while, mainly because the younger is pouting and the other doesn’t really know how to begin a conversation. 

Sighing, Jeno starts. “What was all of that about?” 

At the comment, Jaemin’s body goes rigid. He furrows his eyebrows before suddenly wrapping his arms around his best friends waist and rests his head on his chest, whilst they’re walking and Jeno has to fight the urge to flinch away. 

Jaemin has always been clingy. To his friends, to Jeno, to everyone, really. 

It’s something you have to get used too. The touches don’t mean anything . . . 

“I was going to tell you yesterday,” Jaemin’s voice is soft. “I met him in the alleyway. He was crying and dirty and, well, I don’t know. I just felt the need to help him.” The boy admits. 

Jeno quirks a brow. “He was in the alleyway? Why?” 

The younger shrugs, and Jeno can feel the movement against his side. “There was a dead cat too.” 

All too suddenly, the raven-haired boy came to a halt. “What?” He asked, his eyes widening and mouth dropping open. “Like,” Jeno tried to fathom what that must’ve meant, but his mouth felt dry. “Was it hit or something? Why’s that significant?” 

Answering nonchalantly, Jaemin replied, “It’s stomach was cut open.” 

 _Is this not a big deal? Is this an everyday occurance for Jaemin?_ Jeno wondered, but kept his mouth shut. 

They walked home in silence. 

 

 

~

 

 

Jaemin wakes up to the smell of delicious pancakes, and smiles happily.

 _Mom must be home,_ he thinks.

He sits up and opens his window, glancing out at their green backyard where his little brother is playing on the tiny playset they’ve had ever since Jaemin was young. It was an endearing sight to see; the innocence of his brother, the bright and pure smile on his face as he slid down the slide.

Being youthful is something Jaemin has always admired. Even if you are fifty years old, if you can remain young and beautiful at heart, then that means more than anything. 

Jaemin likes to think that he’s young at heart, too. 

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, the boy runs a hand through his messy and bed-ridden hair before standing up and walking out into the kitchen, where the heavenly smell is coming from. There, his mother’s thin back is facing him, but Jaemin can see that there’s an apron tied around her waist and is cooking eggs, whilst humming softly to whatever song is playing. 

Whenever Jaemin’s mother is home, the house seems so much more livelier. It doesn’t seem as cold, and dark. In fact, it feels quite the opposite when she’s there. It seems to be warmer, and safer. These thoughts make Jaemin’s feet move on auto-pilot and soon he’s right by her side, and by now he can basically feel the happiness radiating off her. 

Noticing her eldest son’s prescense, she turns to him and gives him the same smile that Jaemin has; it’s almost scary how similar they are in looks. She wraps her arms around him and lets him crouch down to rest his head on her shoulder, and she ruffled his hair before pulling away only to grab a store-bought muffin and hands it to him. 

“Eat this until I finish cooking.” She says. 

Jaemin nods and takes a bite out of the muffin before humming in content. He then makes his way to the living room and turns on the television, but it’s so early that only cartoons are on so the boy settles for the Pink Panther. 

He’s silently munching when thoughts about yesterday come to mind. 

The boy feels kind of bad. He’d been very vague with his best friend, and the two have always been so brutally honest with each other up until now. So much information was left out and he knows he should’ve told Jeno the truth, but something in him wanted to keep Jisung a secret; the boy was sort of a mystery. Jaemin didn’t want anyone to know about the younger until he figured him out. 

It’s so selfish, but it’s what he feels. 

Soon, his mother is calling everyone to the table for breakfast, and without thinking, Jaemin makes his way over and takes his usual seat. On the table is bacon, eggs, hashbrowns, and biscuits and gravy. Quite a lot of food for a group of four, seeing as their father — who usually eats the most during meals — isn’t here. Yet that doesn’t stop Jaemin from helping himself.

Right as Jaemin is about to take his first bite, the doorbell rings. 

The boy looks towards his mother who gestures to him to open the door himself seeing as she’s a bit busy trying to get his siblings to not eat so messily, and rolls his eyes discreetly before standing up and walking to the entry way. He opens the door, not even bothering to look through the peep hole and—

“Jisung?”


	3. 03 / do you think that he could be you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! sorry this chapter took so long but this week was my birthday week so i was spending a lot of time with family and friends and i also got to go to the L.A. county fair with my besties which was so fun!! anyways, hope you guys enjoy the chapter!
> 
> reminder: genevieve is a member on jaemin's dance team and a friend! <3

"Nana?" Genevieve waved her hand in front of the brunette. "Are you even listening to me?" 

The simple answer to that question would be:  _No, I didn't hear a single word that came from your mouth._ It wasn't like Jaemin was purposely ignoring his friend who had been kind enough to take him for a date (it really wasn't a date, both knew that Jaemin was as straight as circle, but both of them were affectionate enough with each other to call it that), but he simple couldn't help it. 

He had only one thing on his mind. 

 

 

_"Jisung?" Jaemin furrowed his brows at the sight of the blonde boy, who looked absolutely filthy. He had dirt smeared across his cheeks which made Jaemin flinch because that most definitely will infect his wounds if he doesn't clean up soon, and since the brunette was a sucker for details, he managed to catch bits of blood under Jisung's nails. "What are you doing here?"_

_Without a word, Jisung shoved a pair of familiar looking sweatpants into Jaemin's chest and made to turn around but before he could escape, Jaemin gripped his wrist. The elder had a stupid, bright smile on his face yet said nothing. Jisung huffed and snapped, "What?"_

_The boy hummed, his once sweet smile turning into something sneakier. "You smell that?"_ _Jisung sniffed the air only to be welcomed by the warm smell of syrup, and bacon and everything that just screamed_ home.  _He closed his eyes shortly, embracing the delicious smell before opening them and was greeted with the other's smug face. "My mom made more than enough, want to join?" Jaemin asked._

_Jisung quickly shook his head and decided that he had enough; he just came here to return something that wasn't his and it was time to leave. As he began to shake his wrist out of Jaemin's grip, the sound of a chair scrapping against tile sounded throughout the house and before the youngest even had time to blink, a woman with a few wrinkles near her eyes and forehead but unmistakably with the eyes of Jaemin's came to the door, and smiled._

_"Oh, good morning!" She greeted. "You must be one of Jaemin's friends?"_

_"Uh," Jisung mumbled unintelligently._

_Before Jisung could say anything else, Jaemin came in. "Yep!" He responded in a probably over-sweet tone. "This is Jisung. You wouldn't mind if he joined us for breakfast, right momma?" He batted his eyelashes._

_"Of course not!" Mrs. Na backed up to allow the kids inside and led them to the kitchen. "Please sit wherever, Jisung. I'll get you a plate."_

_Jisung was about the argue that he really wasn't hungry but was betrayed by his own body when his stomach grumbled. Mrs. Na chuckled and set down a plate of, quite honestly, delicious looking food. The younger boy could drool at the sight of it, but of course he can't do that. So instead, he quietly thanked the woman and decided on taking little bites._

 

_Breakfast was going decent. Jaemin was unfortunately sitting next to Jisung and Mrs. Na seemed to be occupied by her youngest children so Jisung didn't have to talk._

_That was until the kids finished eating and Mrs. Na was able to focus her attention on the skinny boy sitting across from her. "Do you go to school with Jaemin?" She asks._

_For the second time that morning, Jisung is at a lost for words. What is he supposed to say?_ No ma'am, I dropped out of school during freshman year but I refuse to tell you because that's my business?  _He can't say that to the woman that just cooked him a delicious meal when he hasn't eaten since yesterday during lunch time!_

 _As if reading his mind, Jaemin cuts in once again. "Yeah! He's a sophomore," Jaemin reaches over and pulls on Jisung's cheek. "_ Cutie. _" He says in Korean, but Jisung suspects that the older boy just assumes that he wouldn't understand._

 _"_ I'm not cute, _" He responds, pushing Jaemin's hand away._

 _Mrs. Na's eyes widen. "_ You speak Korean? _"_

 _Jisung flushes a light pink and shakes his hand. "_ I'm not fully fluent. _" The only reason why Jisung knows some Korean is because when his cousins come over, they always try to teach him the language._

 _"_ Ah, _" Mrs. Na is able to swerve the conversation to English and continues to throw questions at Jisung, and to which Jaemin saves his as each time._

 

_"Thanks for joining us,"_

_Jaemin is leaning against the front door, whilst Jisung is standing on the porch. The blonde boy has his legs crossed and is nervously nibbling on the skin on his thumb, to which Jaemin cringes at, but does nothing to stop him._

_"Yeah, sure." He mumbles, really just wanting to get home._

_The older boy smiles tightly. "See you around, then?" Jaemin asks, his voice quiet, close to a whisper._

_Abruptly, something seems to snap in Jisung; as if those words held something deeper and more intimate than what they really did. His small eyes darkened and if possible, his frown intensified as he uncrossed his legs and clicked his tongue. "We're not friends," he expresses. "After this, I plan to never see you again. Don't get your hopes up." With that, Jisung swiftly turns around and hops off the porch, escaping the neighborhood soon often._

_Jaemin pouts._

 

 

Sighing, the brunette boy places down his drink. "Sorry Evie, I'm really worried about getting this one part in our choreography," Jaemin promptly lies and then adds, "You know how harsh Lana gets when performances near." 

Genevieve nods sympathetically before placing her hand over Jaemin's, at least trying to be comforting. 

It makes Jaemin feel the slightest bit guilty about lying. 

"I get you," she responds. "I wasn't planning on going, but there's this party held by some senior. How about we see what it's all about?" She offers a bright smile and squeezes Jaemin's hand. 

Jaemin sucks in a deep breath. He's only been to a party once which was in freshman year and that was  _not_ enjoyable. He had been forced into a game of beer pong and had to sneak back into his window at the ass crack of dawn with a pounding headache only to crash onto his floor, resulting in his father rushing into his room and getting a big whiff of alcohol and weed. Of course he got his ass whooped. 

So, Jaemin was really about to say no, to deny the offer and just sleep off the headache that's beginning to form; maybe act as if he didn't have homework and deal with the consequences of that some other day but then, he started thinking. He's been so hung over this . . . this random  _kid_ that's incredibly sporadic and rude, and quiet and overall uncanny. Perhaps, it was a good idea to clear his head, to get back into his normal schedule and forget that what ever happened happened. 

"Sure, why not?"

 

After the two friends's little date, they both headed back to Jaemin's house to get him ready for the party that started in about an hour. There, Genevieve had dressed the boy in a white shirt and an oversized leather jacket (it was hot as balls outside but Genevieve said it didn't matter, because Jaemin is hot as balls as well) and a pair of blue jeans to go with it. She insisted on putting some eyeshadow that suited his eyes and lip tint that showed off his lips and the brunette had to admit, she did a wonderful job at making him glow. 

As they walked down the street, on their way to the party, Jaemin couldn't help but feel happy. He knew he looked good and he was excited for a hopefully fun night. As long as Genevieve didn't leave him, then all should be good.

That feeling soon left as soon as he saw a familiar tuft of blonde hair. 

_Goddamnit, why is he everywhere?_

At first, Jaemin was going to ignore Jisung and go his own way silently, but then he began to remember the younger's words and smirked. If he left him alone, he'd be giving Jisung exactly what he wanted, and he couldn't do that, could he? 

You see, Jaemin doesn't want to bother Jisung nor does he want the boy to hate him; but Jaemin is overly friendly and enjoys getting a rile out of people. When he first met Genevieve, she wanted to punch him in the face because he couldn't keep his mouth shut and told Lee Donghyuck - the angel in choir, but devil of the school - that she liked him, and she unfortunately had to bare getting rejected by him. Look at them now, though.

So, with that in mind, he marched over to the younger. 

"Thought I wouldn't be seeing you around anymore?" 

At the sound of an unexpected voice, Jisung jumps. He turns around quickly only to roll his eyes at the culprit. He turns back around before saying, "Leave me alone."

"No can do, sir," Jaemin quips. He has a teasing smile on his face. "What're you up to?"

Jisung coldly replies. "None of your business."

The older boy clicks his tongue and tsks,  "Ah, that's what you told me last time, Jisungie."

"And the statement still stands."

Just as Jaemin is about to reply, a cold hand is placed on his shoulder and harshly turns him away and he's met with Genevieve's angry face. "What are you doing, weirdo?" She nearly screams. "You don't just go around bothering random kids!" She turns to Jisung, who's hiding behind his hand, trying not to laugh. "I'm so sorry you had to deal with him. I'll get him out of your hair now." She apologizes, and is now attempting to pull the brunette boy by the ear.

"Wait!" Jaemin exclaims. He runs back to Jisung and grabs his hand, the younger gasping at the sudden contact, and pulls out a pen before scribbling down his number. "You might need me."

He winks, and then he's off. 

 

The party is cramped in this small, one story house with a quite shitty backyard. The sidewalk has large cracks everywhere that many people have already ate shit on, yet that doesn't stop them from grabbing another beer and dancing. Some people are making out, and others are smoking or doing shotgun, as per usual. The music is loud in Jaemin's ear as Genevieve leads him to the kitchen, grabbing them both a cup of who knows what before they walk back into the living room.

People are pressed against each other, some smiling and looking like they're having the time of their lives and some looking like they're just about ready to bust a nut.

Jaemin feels a little bit upset; he had wanted to try and invite Jisung to the party but hadn't had the chance too. He thought that maybe if they went together, he'd get to see a better side of the younger boy, and now that he's not here, something feels like it missing. 

The brunette does't get to dwell on that feeling for much longer because soon enough, Genevieve is dragging him into the crowd and dancing with him as her favorite song comes on. Fortunately, Jaemin does get to forget. He gets a little bit wasted, and smiles widely as he dances against his friend and screams the lyrics. He can feel the colored lights reflecting on his face, and he feels the most alive at this moment.

He loves times like these, where you forget all of your worries and just let go. It's as if nothing matters at that moment, only the people around you and how you feel. Jaemin felt ecstatic, and hyper and almost as if he was ready to take on the world. It may be the alcohol in his system, but Jaemin really was ready to do about anything just now.

That's why when he felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket and ran outside to answer it and heard a shaky, " _Jaemin . . ._ " with the what sounded like yelling in the background, did he dash out of the party, and out of the neighborhood with only one thing on his mind once again:

 _Park Jisung._  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, another cliff hanger (?)!! what a surprise!!  
> i feel like this is very choppy but hope you enjoyed.


	4. 04 / if i pray really tight

* * *

Getting away from a party while being Na Jaemin is incredibly hard. You see, the brunette is a social boy, always willing to have a conversation even with strangers so when people saw the boy pushing past others and making a bolt for the door, they laughed and snickered comments. 

 

> _"Who'd ya bet he's running from?"_
> 
> _"Anyone, probably. Hell, I could probably flick him and he'd go flying."_
> 
> _"Yeah, he sure thinks he's the shit, huh?"_

Jaemin simply decided to ignore them as he finally made his way to the front door. Opening it, he finally caught a breath of fresh air and was able to breathe. It was nice to not smell the intoxicating scent of weed and alcohol and sweat. He didn't spend time basking in it, though. He has to find a certain blonde boy; just thinking about what could be happening to Jisung tears at the brunette's heart. He sounded so terrified over the phone, as if he was going to cry and although he's technically already seen the younger cry, it still doesn't hide the fact that Jaemin simply doesn't like to see him hurt. 

Running around in this neighborhood really wasn't the smartest idea. He saw multiple people sitting in their front yards, intoxicated. Some were in the streets setting off small fireworks and hollering. That was a common thing in this neighborhood, even if it wasn’t Fourth of July. People liked to see if they could get away with things. They liked “racing” with the cops and were addicted to the adrenaline. A lot of the times, Jaemin would see teenagers his age racing through the street, one of them hanging out the window and screaming with joy; or he'd often see people starting fights just because they're bored. It happens so much in this damned neighborhood that most don't even look up when they hear the commotion. Jaemin hoped he would never be the same. 

Jaemin quickly made himself look away and kept jogging. If he kept staring, somebody would probably run up to him and ask if he's looking for a fight and truthfully, the brunette can't afford to get in a fight right now. Not when he's looking for Jisung.

In all honesty, Jaemin has no idea where he should go. He really should have asked where Jisung was because there's no promise that the kid even lives in the same neighborhood as Jaemin. For all he knows, he could just be some runaway who was looking for some trouble, got scared and ended up here. There's so many possibilities and the brunette really can't comprehend why he's so hung up on Jisung. In fact, there really is no reason why he feels compelled to help this kid out other than the fact that he feels some kind of pull towards him. 

Time seems to go by fast because before Jaemin knows it, he's made it to some rich neighborhood with big, Victorian style houses. Jaemin guesses he must be thirty minutes from his neighborhood because he rarely sees places this nice. Everyone's yards are mowed to perfection, and there's not a piece of trash in sight. It would seem perfect if it wasn't from the screaming coming from a house on the left side of the cul-de-sac. Jaemin finds himself walking towards that exact place, and stands in the front lawn and sees two figures arguing in front of the window, giving him the perfect view. One of the figures is a heavy woman, who's yelling at a lank and cowering boy and -  _is that Jisung?_

Jaemin gasps as he watches the woman harshly shove Jisung, who doesn't budge but his shoulders are hunched as he stares intently at the carpet. Jaemin can't find it in himself to move, he just observes as the woman yells insults at the other. It isn't until another figure - a man - emerges from upstairs with what looks like to be a beer bottle and runs over to Jisung, smashing it against his head. Jisung yelps and falls to the floor with a loud thump and that's when Jaemin finds the strength in his legs to run to the front door. He harshly knocks and hears strings of curses before the man opens the door. 

"What the fuck?" He nearly bellows. 

Jaemin simply ignores him and steps inside the house, his eyes searching for Jisung. He sees him in a crouching position, leaning again the wall and holding his head. 

"Hey kid, it's not fucking Halloween. We don't have any candy," the woman comments, but then as she sees Jaemin making a beeline for Jisung, screeches, "The hell are you doing?" She rushes over to where the two kids are and tries to pull them apart, but Jaemin shoves her enough to where she stumbles then is quick to hoist the younger boy up on his back and makes a run for the exit. He has to dodge punches from the man but manages to get out the door and continues running down two blocks until he thinks the coast is clear and starts walking, tightening his grip on Jisung's thighs. 

Soon, they arrive to a park and Jaemin sets Jisung down a bench before crouching down so they were eye-to-eye. He grabs Jisung's chin, only for the younger to flinch away. 

The brunette purses his lips. "You saw him coming, didn't you?" Jaemin ask, referring to when the man walked down the stairs with a beer bottle in hand. "Why did you let him do that?" Jaemin's voice is louder than he intended it to be. 

Jisung's breath hitches and his eyes shine with unshed tears. "It's the only time he pays attention to me . . ." He mumbles and maybe, Jaemin's heart just breaks. 

Jaemin stares at the younger boy for a good three minutes or so, the only noise surfacing is the sound of speeding cars on the freeway and crickets. He tries to make eye contact with Jisung, because maybe, just maybe, if he can finally look into his eyes he'd find something. He doesn't succeed though, and as Jisung continuously avoids his eyes and instead stares at the ground, Jaemin sighs. "That's not the attention you want, though, Sungie." Jaemin can't help the nickname that flows from his mouth. 

That seems to make Jisung look up from the ground, though, so Jaemin will count that as a minor victory. 

Instead of answering to the brunette's answer, the corner of Jisung's lips tug downward. "Did my father hit you?" He asks, voice so frail that Jaemin almost missed it. 

Jaemin furrows his eyebrows and touches around his face to try to feel for a wound. It isn't until he reaches the right side of his jaw does he wince. Jisung's father must have punched him while he was running out of the house, but how did he not feel it?  _I guess the adrenaline distracted me,_ Jaemin guesses but then wonders why he felt so excited during that time; most people feel terrified whilst being surrounded by chaos but for Jaemin, he felt the most alive having to rush into that house and dodging everything that was coming at him just so he could save the younger.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

"I guess he did." Jaemin responds, still feeling his jaw.

Jisung's bottom lip trembles. "I'm sorry, _hyung_." He whispered, and his hand twitched as if he was going to reach out but decided against it. 

To say that Jaemin was shocked would be an understatement. This is the first time Jaemin has experienced Jisung willingly show his vulnerable side. This is the first time that Jisung seems truly comfortable (perhaps the word comfortable is a little bit too much, but he seems something close to it) in the elder's presence and Jaemin feels pride flow through his chest.  

"How about we go somewhere, Jisungie?" Jaemin offers and when the younger lazily nods his head, he gets up and leads the way through the streets. It's quiet, even the cars seem to have gone to sleep and Jaemin can only imagine how late it must be. They walked probably for about five minutes until they arrived at an ice cream parlor Jaemin frequently visits. It's one of his favorite places to go after a stressful day because he's made friends with almost all of the employees working there, and the decorations are cute. It helps calm him down in some way and he can't explain it, but he's hoping it'll have the same affect on Jisung. 

When they walk in, Johnny - a college student - greets them with a wide smile. "What's up Jaemin and Jaemin's friend," he says goofily. "What can I get you guys at four in the morning?"

Jaemin rolls his eyes playfully. "What do you want?" He asks, turning to Jisung who's biting his lip anxiously and has his arms crossed protectively against him and shrugs. "Okay, then. I'll take two chocolate swirls, please." 

"Sure thing." Johnny salutes before turning to the back room to get their orders and Jaemin chuckles. 

The two boys find a table in the corner of the parlor by a window. The moon is shining, and Jisung seems to be entranced by it as he licks his ice cream.  Jaemin allows the silence to go on for a little longer, allows Jisung to collect his thoughts until the older can't take it anymore and asks, "What's your favorite color?"

"What?" Jisung turns to him, and it seems as if he's sobered up.

Sobered up from what? Jaemin doesn't know but it seems like Jisung has gone back to his normal self and Jaemin may or may not be internally pouting. 

"I'm trying to get to know you." 

"Don't." Jisung responds coldly and Jaemin has to bite down his tongue. He wants to say _"I just saved your ass from your possibly abusive parents and you won't tell me your favorite fucking color?"_  Jaemin doesn't say any of that, though, because he knows exactly what the younger's response would be:

_"I don't need your help."_

And even if Jisung called him, sobbing, it will still hurt to hear those words coming from his mouth.

Jaemin really doesn’t understand Jisung most of the times. He’s only known the kid for not even a week, but there seems to be so much depth to him. One day he seems willing to be open to you and then the next second everything shuts down and he’s back to being cold and giving one word answers. Jaemin briefly wonders if the younger is bipolar but quickly dismisses that thought. 

There’s nothing wrong with Jisung, right?

The older discreetly watches the younger, trying to look for something,  _anything._ He observes his face, the way he’s sitting and thinks about everything he’s said in the past and of course, Jisung is a little bit off but Jaemin doesn’t think anything of it. 

All he can think about is how intruiged he is. 

So, ultimately, Jaemin just shuts his mouth and prays that maybe Johnny put something in the younger's ice cream to make him not so cold, but that near impossible. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time no see....
> 
> i’m so sorry it took so long to get this out. I honestly had such bad writers block which is why this chapter is so sloppy. and i've also been dealing with some shit, but i tried hard with it and i’m already working on the next chapter! it probably won’t come out until the next two-four weeks though because i go through a lot of editing with my chapters lol. 
> 
> anyways, did you guys catch any of the foreshadowing? if so, tell me in the comments i guess aha


End file.
